His church had given at unbelievably sacrificial levels, but he was still at least 6 figures short of his goal. We had talked about the move several times, and on this particular day, he was down to the wire. Recently I had a call from a pastor friend who wanted to get his church out of a portable situation and into a new facility. Click To Tweet Real Risk Lives on the Edge of Spectacular How would you know? There’s a fine line between trust and irresponsibility that's almost impossible to see. So…is it a step of faith, or is it just stupid? You know that big leadership risk you’re thinking about? There’s a fine line between faith and irresponsibility, and at times it’s almost impossible to see. Some may say she “ died of heart failure.” But think again-she died due to heart failure from the slow suicide of the overwhelming pain of an eating disorder.One of the most perplexing questions a Christian and, to be sure, a Christian leader will face when it comes to risk is this:Īm I trusting God, or am I simply being foolish? Join me in remembering Karen Carpenter in honor of her spirit and as commencement to Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. We want to relate or feel or let ourselves go in some way. Music is life, and it can tell someone’s story. That person may need just one person to pull them up from the depths of hell. If you sense someone is struggling, don’t be shy. I urge you to take a moment and really pay attention to those around you: family, friends, and colleagues. It pained me to listen to this song, one that was new to me yet clearly gave us insight to a woman who was suffering when put it together with her other music. The irony is most people who are struggling don’t let it show. Whether someone is anorexic, bulimic, or a compulsive binge eater, there is pain, suffering, conflict, anger, hurt, and confusion fueling it all. Karen Carpenter was tormented by her feelings, emotions, and experiences, which ultimately led to her death.Įating disorders have little to do with food, but everything to do with emotions. Karen Carpenter fought to hold on to an ideal and lost. Karen Carpenter battled anorexia and lost. September begins Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. She wanted to find love more than anything, didn’t settle for any love that wasn’t enough, and never stopped believing that the world could be a true rainbow connection. I found it ironic that Karen Carpenter’s song, one that I played over and over, haunted me tonight, followed by my anthem a few songs later. Turned out I simply needed a dog-unconditional love and companionship. I knew I needed to be in love, but I also had to say goodbye. That was accompanied by John Denver’s “Seasons of the Heart,” which was a conundrum. That reflection brought me back to one of my favorite songs by The Carpenters, “I Need to be in Love,” a song that at one time I’d claimed as my personal anthem. I heard a new one this evening: “Love Me for What I am,” and reflected upon the lyrics. I love so many of her songs-both she and her brother-and have listened closely to the lyrics since I was old enough to comprehend the words. When I finally moved beyond that one song, Karen Carpenter was up next. Obviously a one hit wonder, yet a wonder that brought forth so many memories and afforded me an opportunity to walk down memory lane so many times as I played it, again and again, enjoying my visit with the past. I played one song over and over, then looked at the artist and wondered who the heck they were. Those might be my favorite because they just move me in every way. Tonight, I had one of my select 70s playlists on. Usually it’s classical, a playlist that touches me in some way and allows the thoughts to strike the keyboard, transforming those thoughts into words. Those who follow my blog know that I am either listening to instrumental music or tuned into the crickets singing their own songs during the night while I write. There is no box large enough for me to squeeze into, and that’s no play on words given what I allowed the pandemic years to do to my body! It’s taken me 52 years to get to know myself, so good luck if you want to try. You would definitely look at me and scratch your head. My music collection resembles my book collection-it is filled with diversity, eclectic in nature. There are even remnants of my past on CDs at my parents’ house. No matter what the genre, you are guaranteed to find it when you scroll through the countless playlists on my app, or on my classic iPod (yes, it still exists in my car). From world music to classical, funk, rock, and decade mixes to blue grass, Cajun, Christian, and soul, plus easy listening, Big Band, and Gregorian chants. I love all music and my collection has no rhyme or reason. I’m a big music gal who couldn’t narrow my tastes down to a favorite genre if you paid me-or simply asked.
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